Posts Tagged ‘motherhood’

Catatan Harian Emakemak (sok) Rempong eps. #1

July 14, 2016

July 14th 3016

Lebaran usai. Selamat datang rutinitas semula. Bangun tidur – trying to survive the day with my almost toddler son – mandiin gesang sehari 3x cause of the heat (why do i even mention this πŸ˜‚) – masak (is the real struggle) – nglewatin sore yang kadang krik krik karena bingung mau ngapain karena si anak masih full battery dan si emak udah 30% doang – suami pulang – makan malam – tidur – bangun – on repeat.
Bored? Oh yes i do.
Yang tadinya waktu mudik lebaran saya sama suami bisa sedikit leha leha karena semua antri gendongin gesang, nawarin makan apa, dan ga perlu mikirin bersih bersih rumah; skarang apa apa mulai dikerjain sendiri lagi. Mba beberes belom masuk; tumpukan baju kering saling jatuh cinta dan beranak pinak; pun cucian piring. If i say Im tired is this considered as whining? (Saya masih bingung beda antara mengeluh dengan menyampaikan fakta di lapangan). Truth is im tired. And bored.
Mau mainan hape juga itu itu aja isinya. I miss hanging out. Meeting friends and eat much without even thinking how many dirty dishes piling up afterwards πŸ˜†πŸ˜…πŸ˜.

Hari ini ga secapek kemaren sih. Kmaren hari pertama suami masuk kerja setelah off libur lebaran. Mungkin masih kaget sama rutinitas biasanya. Juga, masih mengumpulkan niat memasak buat the son. Mau bikin planning masak apa aja selama sebulan kok so not me. Jadi kalo malem yang harusnya me time, saya malah mikirin besok mau masak apa. Dan sebelum tidur harus tau besoknya mau masak apa biar tidurnya nyenyak.

Tadi pagi saya ga belanja sayur. Hari Selasa udah nyetok banyak sayuran + telur ayam + ayam buat masak selama tiga hari ke depan. Jadi lebih enteng ga mikir harus nyempetin ke tukang sayur pagipagi.

Tadi habis mandiin gesang tibatiba kepikiran. Jadi ibu rumah tangga itu mau ga mau ya harus kaya gini: siap cape. I dont mean ibuibu yang kerja kantoran ga cape lho ya. Saya hanya ngrasa capenya jadi ibu rumah tangga itu selain fisik, psikis juga bisa. Psikis karena muncul dari rasa bosan; rasa bete karena kadang ngrasa disuruh suruh 24/7 sama little boss a.k.a anak anak kita. Harus sedia setok sabar. Yang entah berceceran di mana. Harus nrimo. Dan saya masih jauh dari sempurna. Jangankan sempurna; cukup sabar aja belum kayanya 😭.
Pelan pelan saya nyadar, kalo saya pengen bisa keep calm throughout the day with the son, saya harus bisa pasrah.
Pasrah kalo gesang pengennya makan dengan gaya dia sendiri. Pasrah kalo gesang terlanjur potek potekin tanah ama krikil trus dimamam. Pasrah kalo gesang ga mau makan masakan yang saya bikin susahsusah dari pagi. Pasrah dan tenang. Not pasrah in a lazy-negative sense ya. I hope you get what i mean (sooo bad in describing things atm 😭).

Seringkali saya menemukan diri saya paginya begitu fiery dan bersemangat, eh sorenya i totally lost myself lol. Paginya tenang ceria sabar…begitu udah agak sorean dan mungkin Gesang rada pengen manja eh sayanya jadi ga sabaran dan marahmarah bahahahahahaahh 😝. Biasanya saya jadi half sane half cray cray gitu karena i forced myself buat semangat. Misal: “pokoknya hari ini harus bisa sabar.” Dll dab. Jadi alih alih saya mencoba berroses menikmati hari itu, saya terlalu maksa diri buat jadi positif. Again, i hope you know what i mean.

Udah ah lanjutin besok ceritanya. Kapan kapan deh kalo ada yang perlu diceritain lagi πŸ˜‚. Hari ini cukup sekian dulu. Gesang agak batuk dan pengen ngelonin dia tidur. Saya juga pengen makan banyakan. Laper. Bring it ooon, dishesssss..

Love,
Emaknya Gesang

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on being a mother

April 30, 2016

This is the first time after a very long time for me to blog. To dedicate a specific amount of time to write. As you know, I’m not much of a planner; nor a good writer. I just write whatever words crossing in my mind. So here it goes:

  • Been spending nearly 11 months being a mother for my son, Gesang. If you know me in person, I bet you wouldn’t guess I can mother a child. Truthfully, I’m still learning to be a good mother.
  • If you ask me how and what raising a child feels like, I don’t know. I don’t think there’ll be equal comparison to describe how this is like. It’s nice to have someone who adores you -much- Too much, even. But there will be times you want to spend by yourselves, just to regain consciousness of who you are, as an individual. You know what I mean? Sometimes in the middle of your motherhood ‘session’ you will miss the time you used to spend just to do nothing, maybe. (Cause I do).
  • My son is a bundle of joy. Everyone keeps saying how he looks like me. I take it as a compliment, considering how handsome he is and how plump his lips are (he even has parted lips like Jolie! πŸ˜€ ) Oh almost forgot to share about his birth. Maybe I will share this another time when I’m completely prepared. He was born in June 12th. It was Friday at 7 am. Weighed 3.3 kgs, 50 cms long (tall?). I thought he would weigh around 3 kgs only since my obsgyn told me that my baby wasn’t so big. When he finally came out of me, I was surprised in feeling how big he was (as a baby), and how long he was hahahahahah. I was like *smiling* *teary* “HHhheeeeiiiiiiii..” that’s all. Hahahahahahahah. The father cried a little and asked me if it was okay to take our pic during IMD (my husband still cried -joyous tears- few days after Gesang was born and I find it funny).
    I’m lucky to have Gesang. He is just like what I’d imagined when he was still in my tummy. He is a funny bebe and smile-y,Β happy and healthy. Curious and calm. He makes us, the parents, smile.
  • <<<<<<<Getting ‘I-don’t know-what else to write’ jitters>>>>>>>
  • <<<<<<<Staring at laptop screen so hard I might make my eyeballs jump>>>>>>>

I think that’s all? I can’t write much since this is my first post after a long period of hiatus. I’ll write regularly. Partly cause I miss writing, and the rest because my husband wants to read my story on my blog (HI HUSBAND *wave* *wave* *waveeee*)

Love,

-Puspa