My sentimental heart

“A baby is growing like a flower in the garden of my womb.”

⎯ theroadishome

I don’t know if this is about the pregnancy or hormones or anything, I just want to write to my heart’s content. It’s a lazy Sunday afternoon and I’m sitting on my bed listening to music and typing this post. My baby is probably napping, we just had a glass of milk tea and cookies. Yesterday me and husband saw our baby’s ultrasound; and I swear every time I see our baby, I feel a little teary. Happiness, love, and excitement fill me. I saw the baby was floating inside me. Bouncing the tiny feet, probably kicking; and looked as if his/her hands trying to touch me. Maybe our baby was waving at us. Maybe our baby was just as excited as we were when we got to ‘meet’.

The doctor told us that we’re okay. That I can travel quite far as long as I get as much rest as I need. Not overworking myself, keep consuming my vitamins and no spicy/sour foods cause it might worsen my digestive system.

When we got home, I couldn’t forget what I just witnessed. Another life force depending on me. Our future child who represents our existence is going to come out of me. The child who will be our warrior; our best friend, the love of our lives. My husband held my hand and asked me how it feels to get pregnant “Is it hard? Painful?” I don’t know how to properly answer this. Somehow I don’t think if he was asking the right question. I told him saying/justifying that “getting pregnant is hard, getting pregnant is painful” sounds ungrateful and I am accepting the conditions that I’m going through. I may be flawed, but I’m improving. I am dealing with whatever God sends me on my journey to Mamahood. I am, trying.

Sometimes when I get a little hurt after doing house-chores I put my hand + husband’s hand on my belly. Rubbing our baby gently and asking if he/she is fine. It feels nice to have our hands rubbed my belly; warm and soothing. There are times when I get pregnancy sickness too; those times were hard but again, when things make me a little hurt I will rub my belly and softly tell our baby to help me. I think the baby listens. Cause the pains go away, and I can continue to do things. I think our baby feels what I feel. They help me to get through my days.

Me and husband keep making scenarios of how we will raise our child and sweet stories we -still- make up to satisfy our longing to their existence. We are excited and happy and worried as well. I have to be strong for them. I have to be brave.

This morning our baby woke me up and we prayed together. The baby probably had a great dream and reminded me not to forget to pray. I hope the baby is healthy and safe; I hope I can always be healthy too, so I can take care of our baby.

I am excited of our journey in the future, the three of us. Please send love and best wishes to us.


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2 Responses to “My sentimental heart”

  1. rizkyadiwordsoflife Says:

    i am getting teary too reading this! wish He guide and protect your family forever.. 😉

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