Nightmares

Today I’m fed up with codes, HTML and stuffs and I’m about to pass out. It’s not like the first time I start over blogs, managing all accounts that I have and stuff. I assure you, this is the worst. I have like so many accounts here and there and I end up in deleting some. It’s just too much. And I just want to write. To vent my thoughts since I can’t do it freely in both Tumblr or even Twitter. As a matter of fact I just set up a new Twitter account and idk how to use it: what should I tweet since noone actually cares about what I tweet. I also started another ~personal~ Tumblr that noone knows. A place to post 30 day movie challenge and some of my thoughts but idk why there is a feeling that I can’t freely post whatever I’m thinking about in Tumblr. Cause Tumblr is NOT a blog. Since I can gain as many followers as possible in Tumblr, people start complaining when I post too many text posts or bitching around in Tumblr. People want pretty pictures, or funny/inspiring pictures to reblog/to see. I hope I can start my intellectual activity by writing a lot here. Goodness, I just want to vent my thoughts and feed my brain than just letting it rotten cause I only post pictures and pictures!!

And I’m trying to separate people in Tumblr and in real life. I want to be realistic. Well I never keep my blog in secret, though. It’s just in a hope that only people who know me better can ‘read’ me through my writings. I want to be my true self. Not trying to be someone else I just met there in unknown land. I want to be me.

Let me add some useless information that last night was the fifth time I got nightmare in this week. I don’t know what causes my nightmares, cause I think I’m okay. I’m good and not that sad.  Someone in Tumblr told me that I keep getting nightmares cause I sleep in cold temperature. Well, as an addition I did crazy thing last night: I took a shower at 12 am straight! The weather was pretty cold and as a result, I get extra back ache and I feel unwell now. Last night, I felt like I could die in my sleep. It was awful, horrible. Like there were claws trying to reach me and rip me into pieces in my sleep. I nearly couldn’t wake up, even to move my head. I feel so tired, and I couldn’t open my eyes easily.

Aside from that, some friends invite me to be one of the speaker in my faculty’s American Week *cough*. I will present about American Popular Culture *dies dies dies* and I have to admit, Pop Culture is NOT my forte. I’d rather blab about American Constitution rather than pop culture, since it’s so varied and vastly improved. That so called seminar will be held in June 22nd and I will be debating adjudicator in June 24th (if I’m not mistaken). Well yeah, I feel quite good about it. I’ll have activities to make my mind occupied instead of just staring at my laptop screen or watch some descent movies. Oh, I think I will post some screencaps and my 30 day movie challenge here! I love movies.

It’s 1:05 pm and my back still hurts. I put some Salonpas to reduce the pain and indeed it’s a magic sticker. I think I need to take shower, eat my lunch and continue reading things. I haven’t even finished reading my Sylvia Plath’s The Bell Jar *shameful*. I need coffee.

Songs currently on repeat:

+ Breathe MeSia
+ SundaySia
+ Rabbit Heart (Raise It Up)Florence + The Machine
+ Drumming Song Florence + The Machine

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3 Responses to “Nightmares”

  1. Samantha Says:

    I’ve never heard Sunday by Sia before. Actually, Breathe Me was the only one I knew.

    I love it, so thank you =)

    I’m sure that’s not quite what you were expecting someone to comment on after that long post. But I like how you write, even if it’s just personal stuff.

    Do you mind my asking where you’re from?

    • Puspa Says:

      Hi Samantha! Thanks for the first comment.. Yaaayyy! Thanks for complimenting as well, I’m not that good in writing, though :/
      I live in Indonesia. Where are you from? If you love Sia you should listen to Sia’s My Love (it’s Eclipse Soundtrack heheheh)..
      Once again thank you for the comment 🙂

  2. Samantha Says:

    No problem, my blog is new too (not even 24 hours)
    I’ll definately listen.

    Indonesia? It must seem so normal to you, but that sounds amazing to me. Just…interesting I guess.
    I live in New York, USA. Fairly close to New York city.

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