Hi everyone. I think I’ve had enough of the rough nuances in this blog, thus I decide to get myself a new one. A clean space where I can write as much as I want to, without the need to look back at my somewhat bitter past. You can visit me on floralandlaces @ wordpress. I choose the name to make it easier for me to follow my most usernames. I’ll see you there, then?
Thank you for sticking up with me, for the patience.
Until we meet again! 
- Puspa
Lately I find myself quite incapable of making quality, deep, and thoughtful post about what’s going on with this world. Maybe I spoil my brain too much by overthinking useless stuffs, who knows. There’s nothing new about me, except the fact that I just dislocated my knee and had an awfully sore muscle-joint (I think I still do, whenever I move too much). I also have some wonderful news as well: I finally have someone to share my feelings with, someone who is willing to take me as I am and tries to reciprocate my love for him and I’m super thankful to God for having him in my life. I’ll leave the details later, after having our second date, I’ll tell you (if there is any of you who is wiling to read this and itty bitty things about me) later as I don’t feel like talking about romance at present.
I was trying to read Margaret Atwood’s The Handmaid’s Tale while listening to Manchester Orchestra but then some disturbing thoughts about people creeped in –it’s even still lingering on– so I have to write these things.
There are times when I don’t understand about myself, and people in general. If you ask me to describe this in details, I’m afraid I’m going to fail cause it just exists there, without me being able to tell about it. Sometimes people’s thoughts are so ugly, so ugly cause they say it loudly and it echoes here and there. They say it, thus making the thoughts appear twice uglier. If I have such thoughts, I usually keep it to myself or else bitch about it with one person (usually my bf) and we’ll try to see it from other perspectives. It is ridiculous, sometimes, to know what people are up to, what they are trying to achieve *socially* by posting daily updates on social sites etcetera. What they’re trying to imply from their heavy-complicated conversation.
Most of the times, I struggle to satisfy people’s curiosity about my life, trying to please them by being nice. But other times, I get annoyed too. Maybe I’m too easily annoyed but my reaction depends on how you talk to me/ask me things. Do I sound selfish? But what can I do, this is how I perceive information. I am, here, trying to put an effort to be wise too, you know. It’s not easy to see myself as flawed person that becomes a member of society with diverse backgrounds and such. There are some ground rules we need to understand in living with people: that we should be nice and respect each others. These two principles go well in textbooks but practically it is hard to maintain. Really. I sometimes still find myself drifting away from social responsibility as to keep them pleased but heeey, we can’t always please everyone.
I don’t feel like talking more. Tomorrow I have to go out, getting my ordered book and trying to work my ordered articles someplace else.
To conclude this post, I feel thankful overall for everything I’ve got so far, for the love I’ve received, for people who want me to be in their lives. This post is just a somewhat sudden reaction toward how I see people around me behave recently. Some of them are judgmental, easily annoyed or annoying, noisy, weird, etcetera. But I’m fully aware too, that somehow I am like them too. People are weird. We are all weird, and unique at the same time.
Good night.
THINGS I DO WHEN I AM ON MY (MENSTRUAL) RAGE/HATRED/ANGER
Getting angry causes you to feel a bit funky, especially for girls who get menstrual syndrome (well, maybe that’s just me). Your anger is your privilege. That’s your system’s way to remind you that you can feel, therefore I don’t think suppressing it will be the best alternative to deal with it. You need to manage it, control it. As an outspoken person and a person who always gets to express feelings, I know I might sound a little overly know-how, but heey I’m trying and at some points aforementioned tips help me!
And I don’t care what you say. I am listening to Pavarotti’s Nessun Dorma for 87629468264 today and I began to cry just now. This is crazy and crazily hormonal. The song is too beautiful and the condition in which I am far from someone I love makes me want to cry even more? I miss him.
I’ll be fine after done crying, though. This is just a crazy hormonal fluctuation.
I need fluffy pillow and a glass of cool water to calm down.
And him, if I may.
Hi everyone.
Seems like my current job requires me some extra time to adjust myself to the new activities and responsibilities. Sorry for the delay (again). I kept finding myself getting exhausted thus I could not process the giveaway announcement sooner.
Congratulations for Anas for winning my giveaway! I have sent you email about details of process, please reply it so I can send the gift as soon as possible
For those who question why I choose Anas’ essay to win this giveaway, because I love how simple it is written, and he makes me realize things: you can let sadness get you, but not get you down. Overall it’s a simple essay I like, and I like the point by point style Anas used in the essay. Once again, congratulations!
As for other contestants, thank you very much for joining the giveaway. I appreciate each and every kind and thoughtful things you tell me on your essays. I hope I’ll have something else to share so I can have another giveaway in the future ^^
Best,
- Puspa.
Hi everyone.
First of all I’m so sorry for not being able to announce the winner. I am too exhausted to review some essays coming in to my email inbox. There are only four people joining my giveaway, actually ahahaha.. But I have to read each of them closely and I don’t think I’m at my best condition to do it. I’m exhausted, that’s it. So I will announce the winner by the end of this week, Sunday March 10th 2013. I will announce the winner on this blog, as well as contacting him/her personally to confirm things Apologies for this delay, ok?
I am actually really sleepy but I need to finish an article cause I owe it to my editor, but I feel chatty so I’ll blog for a bit.
I have been through quite a lot these two months. Whining and complaining will make things worse, and I don’t see what’s the point of it anyway. I am crushed, and still crushed by what I used to refer that as the center of my life. God, I’m too exhausted to re-tell things. Even to think of some bad things have happened to me so far makes my eyes get heavier.
Whatever the things I’ve been through, I know it will eventually end. I will be good. I will be better. Then I’ll be in my best condition. The path I’m going to take and the journey I’m about to make are waiting. And with such long journey I need more energy to think things through. To strategise plans and foresee my near-future condition.
By the way, enough of serious things. (I just saw Anna Dello Russo’s printed suit, I think she should share half of her clothes in her closet to me –if we have same size lol–). Other than that, do you know, I have subscribed to some news sites on my tab so I can read them while on the go, but I have yet the perfect time to read them all. It has, like, 900ish news? HAHAHAHA DIE. I need to resume my readings, all of them. I have left my Margaret Atwood waiting for me to finish it.
Do you believe that some day, I can be more than just who I am now?
Because I do, and I will make it happen. I am me, and I can do it.
Wish me luck, though
Hello, faithful readers of my blog. I hope February treats you well
So I plan to have a giveaway for one of my readers/anyone here. I haven’t done this before, and I think this will be a good opportunity to get to know you more. I have this Casio A178 Silver, and I only wore it few times. No scratch, still in a good condition. Since it’s a unisex wristwatch, this contest is open for any of you who wants it. There is no personal reason behind this giveaway. Honestly, I have a bit too many wristwatches and I just want to give it to the person who really needs it. So it serves the purpose.
This giveaway might also be the token of friendship as well as gratitude, for keeping up with me. Reading/following my blog/twitter account.
There are some rules to follow, though. To win this giveaway, you must:
1. Live in Indonesia. Sorry, I have no money to send it internationally :’(
2. At least you have ever followed my twitter or read my blog. No, you don’t have to follow my twitter. I dislike the idea of forcing people to follow your twitter to give them something. It’s like buying people to follow you/bribery.
3. Write a 3 paragraphs of mini essay, and the theme is “Things which motivate you when you’re feeling down/sad.”
It must be no less than 300 words and in English please
4. If you’re done with it, send it to my email, hanandhita(dot)puspa(at)gmail(dot)com, with the subject: “nucleardebris x floralandlaces’ giveaway” followed by your name. Example: nucleardebris x floralandlaces’ giveaway – Puspa
5. I will close the giveaway on Sunday (March 3rd 2013) and announce it on Tuesday (March 5th 2013)
For the winner, you will get: the wristwatch, of course, its box and watch case, completed with certificate of its authenticity and warranty card. This giveaway is open for anyone as long as you know me/have ever read my blog/followed my twitter. You can win this giveaway and give the prize to whomever you want too! The idea of this giveaway is for me to get to know you more and to give this watch to the person who needs it more. So we’re both happy.
Should there be any other questions, you can tweet me @floralandlaces for immediate answers, or email me at the address given. I hope you have a lovely day(s) ahead of you, and good luck! <3
- Puspa
